Top 10 Reasons I love my job

I am obsessed with my job. I think it is the greatest and all you people live a sad existence because you don't get to be a teacher. He are the reasons why:

1. I start every day by standing up and reciting out loud that "It is a great day. I am responsible for my own behavior. And Success begins with me!" A good reminder each morning..if I say so myself.

2. Snack time

3. Recess (Sometimes I swing on the swings with them..shh don't tell)

4. I get to crack myself up with jokes that go way over my kids heads, and enjoy the fact that I get it and they don't.

5. I get to sing, dance, and do utterly crazy things in front of 24 people and justify it by being a "memorable" teacher.

6. Again, I get to sing and make up silly motions to learn all kind of crazy things from continents to contractions.

7. People that give me a hard time at work have to change their light and I send a note home about them!

8. Sometimes really smart people from the school give me money to spend on books and other cool things for my kids. It is like Christmas!

9. It is extremely gratifying to see intellectual, social, and emotional growth in a human being and know that you played a small part in that.

10. I am doing what God called me to do. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Do you trust me yet?

Recently, I have begun to struggle pretty intensely with controlling my thought life. I think ALL the time. As part of the blessing of being a child of an OCD mom (love you!) and an analytical engineering father (he makes pro/con charts for like every major decision) I never stop thinking. It is a good thing in lots of ways, but it makes mind control very very difficult. My filter has trouble keeping up! Now, I know in the past I have limited this controlling your mind to "evil" thoughts- such as "I want to kill him", or "Man, his sure does have a hot body."-not that I have ever thought those exact ones ;-) But these are not the primary ones I struggle with at all. I struggle WAY more with those little foxes like daydreaming, playing out a conversation or fantasy of what it will be like "some day", negative body image or self image thoughts, etc. I know that these are not at all healthy for me. In the bigger picture, if I am so self absorbed in my own fantasies and thoughts, how in the world can I be actively a part of the battle for the kingdom of our God? This is what I have been pondering the past few months. So, I was pretty convicted it had to change. I have now realized- WAY easier said than done. I really do want freedom from this. I want to be active, engaged and alive every second. I hate that I waste moments wrapped up in myself....and then BOOM this thought comes and minutes pass when I am wrapped up in analyzing the situation, relationships, or whatever. So, this has been driving me crazy. And as an analyzer I analyze the problem to death too. Well yesterday I was discussing this with a close friend and they said, "Maybe it is a trust issue." My mental response was "You have GOT to be kidding me!" I have just come off a year of hammering out lack of trust...isn't that enough? Well, I passed this advice off because to me, it is a self discipline issue, which the Holy Spirit has also confirmed but this blog is about trust so I am going to stay on track. Anyway, today I was reading Streams in the Desert and it said the most amazing thing:

"If Peter was ever going to walk on the water he had to walk, but if he was going to swim to Jesus, he had to swim. He could not do both. If a bird is going to fly, it must stay away from fences and trees, trusting the buoyancy of its wings. And if it tries to stay within easy reach of the ground, it will never fly very well. -A.B. Simpson

Whoa! I was floored. Bringing back to my present situation. I am as ridiculous as a bird desiring to fly but staying really close to the ground, just in case the wings fail. What would be cooler, to walk on water or to swim? Walk on water of course! Instead, I choose to swim to Jesus, battling waves of destructive thoughts and almost drowning in them before he reaches out to save me. I realized, He doesn't want me to swim and fight THROUGH the thoughts he wants me to rise above them completely. For when I am "fully persuaded that God has the power to do what he has promised" (Rom. 4:21) I can rise above those thoughts with complete trust they are being taken care of. Let go...

Well, it is a journey, and I have a suspicion that I won't have some kind of super Eureka moment and then poof the problem is gone. I have learned Jesus isn't really into magic..although he is into miracles. But I do know that he has called me to a greater freedom. I do know that he won't leave me the same. I do rejoice that the best is still yet to come.

Lose control....
I'm losing control of this.
I've been balancing on suspended pianos
And trying to appear composed.
It makes the loudest noise when they begin to crash.
With eyes on me I force a laugh

You come to me..
And set me free.

The Next Steps

So maybe some of you will continue reading. Honestly I have struggled with whether or not to keep it going, but I am tired of over-analyzing (a terrible habit I have not quite kicked) so here it goes. I have been back for a while now. It has been difficult at times to embrace my new set of adventures here, but it truly is only a beginning. I have had a couple of weeks of rest in which it has felt wierd not to be "involved" in 52 ministry related things (okay that is a huge exaggeration). However, I know that was a needed time as I decompressed, thought, and solidified what I had been through (and also just slept!). Now, it seems like He is letting me get back in the swing of things and presenting new opportunities on a daily basis. It is cool to see how he is using some of the EV models I used there and helping me apply them to here. Ask that I will be faithful and he will give me his heart and compassion for the people here in Jackson. I confess that I do not have it very often.

Also, I am extremely excited to begin serving very soon as a large group leader for children at CHBC. I love this ministry and believe so deeply that a firm foundation and knowledge of His Word is the most important thing we can give our kids. I can't wait! You can lift me up as I do this, that my face will reflect his glory and my body will be a pure vessel for his truth-a calling that I am quite frankly not up to without some serious divine intervention. Oh, but he is so faithful. A little soap box of mine. If you are not serving somewhere in your local body-START! The church is DESPERATE for people to just say yes. Guess what? You are gifted at something, and that is for a reason! To serve! And the benefits are stinking awesome. I promise you will receive a huge blessing. And don't think that because of a specific situation you are disqualified. Ask Him to show you how you are called to be used during your specific season. He knows where you are and has a great ministry designed just for you RIGHT NOW (no not when your kids grow up, or you quit taking care of your sick parents, or when your finances or better). Right now. End of story. (And don't mentally disqualify the "small" stuff- Do you know how many times He multiplied the "small, insignificant" stuff. Just do it!) Okay, I'm done. Promise.

Know that I love you. I really do, and I am so grateful to have you in my life. So many of you are from CHBC and I am ridiculously proud of you guys. I bragged about you ALL the time in my other country. They know all about how awesome you are! I am extremely proud to be part of a family that really does desire to accomplish His desires and give him glory. No, we're not perfect but we pursue- and that makes me smile!

Back in the States Again

Hey guys! For those of you that don't know yet, I am safely back in the states. I just want to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for lifting me up while I was gone. You not only made a huge difference in my life, but you have made an eternal difference in the kingdom. Although I am back home again, I ask that you not forget my friends in the country. They NEED you to be praying for them. Please, please continue to pray that people will come to know him and there will be a great harvest in the country and specifically in the Crossroads. I am no longer able to be with them, but I know that there are no limits to the power of lifting their names up to the father. I hope you will join with me.

A few more pictures

Cars and trucks are pretty prevalant in this city, but you also see plenty of these!

The Chinese answer to diapers-split trousers.

To get to the waterfall yesterday at Nan-Shan we rode one of these. It was great fun!

The famous Peking Duck. I haven't eaten it yet, but it is on the least of things to do.

Some Fun Before I Go...

Here it is..The Sunday before I leave. Only a week left! It is so hard to believe that my time here is already almost over. I have big plans for this week, however. We began the week today by taking the group to Nan Shan..a mountain away from the city with a beautiful waterfall. It was great to spend time together and just breathe fresh air. Also, I was forced into wading in the FREEZING stream from the waterfall with my m pal (who happens to be about 70). She does not slow down! It was funny and we have some great pictures of the two of us out in the middle of the freezing cold water! After we got back two of the group offered to go with me to the Olympic stores and chopstick store to buy some souveneirs. I feel pretty good about what I got! For the rest of the week I plan to, of course, meet with people and share about myself but also visit the cemetary, eat hot pot, go to Da Ba Zar, go to the night market, and eat peking duck. Ask that I will continue to remain focused on the main thing amid all the fun.

I named my blog what I did for a specific reason. I feel that in my life so far I have been given so much-so many opportunities. I have been privaledged to walk through some great adventures. But I believe that each day is truly just the beginning. Backwards focused life has little value. I want to live a life that is not caught up in what has been but is focused on what is today. As I "end" this adventure, I ask that I remain faithful to remembering that ALL THIS is just a beginning of a new part of the journey. I cannot thank you enough for thinking of me. It is making a difference!

Some more pictures from around town.

Guess where I am! Pretty cool, right? This is one of the 2 pictures I have of myself to prove that I did actually come here. This was during my first two days in country.

These are the Olympic "Friendlies" They have names and my little friend (the 3 year old) tries to help me remember, but I fail terribly. I know for sure that one is Bei Bei, and one is Jing Jing. Get it?? Beijing! Clever huh? Anyway, saying that we are pumped about the Olympics over here is the understatement of the year.

My daily mode of transportation. I have a bus card which is really convenient.

The view from my hotel window.